Process of Creating a Solo Show # 4

When my mom passed away I had a lot of time to reflect. Reminicing and seeking happy times to keep me strong, then remembering some not so happy times. It is during this period in which I was falling apart did I have to find myself again so by picking up the pieces of my emotional and physical make up did I pick up my journal and started writing. In one particular entry I asked myself the question, why is it I don't seem to date black men? I was trying to remember and then count how many black men I did date compared to how many white men I dated and I thought that was odd. I am a bi-racial woman and I love me some flavor, yet I stopped dating black men. Then I started becoming standoffish with black men. It was disturbing. I remember my body and mind was trying to work something out but for some reason I was paralized and what ever message was trying to express itself through me could not because of fear, anger, it was frozen inside. During a Kundalini yoga class with Gurmukh of Golden Bridge, she mentioned that we hold the past in our ass and if we can beat it out we would feel much better. A seed had been planted. It was within this area, my buttocks I held all that anger all the fear I had of black men and I wanted it out of me. Doing body work exercises and taking the time to really listen to my body I was finding the answers to my pain and in the midst of releasing I was given an opportunity to heal though I didn't know it at the time, I only knew afterwards. It was a simple conversation in a gym with a gorgeous black man did I rediscover who I was and gain some freedom from all the unnessecary pain. I got to see how I was projecting fear of black men but in reality I was just scared of myself, my own body as a woman and how powerful just being a woman really is. There were several entries in my journals, but I thought this one most interesting and transformative in rediscovering myself again, so I began writing and writing and when I got stuck, I asked for help.

Process of Creating a Solo Show # 3

I'm on a roll tonight, because I was behind in writing my blog. So after seeing my favorite performers in New York City I decided in this lifetime this is what I am going to do. Like I said I don't know how I just know I am. I'm not going to discuss the other back story behind moving to LA. I am going to focus on the journey of creating a solo show. So when I got to LA, I was in survival mode. After leaving the Village Voice in New York, my sister Deborah pitched for me to work at the Los Angeles Jewish Times in California. I worked there for 3 years and at the end was General Manager. Talk about crazy experiences, I'll have to write about them in another project. As I worked I thought to get myself in the theater scene right away. The first place I went to was Working Stage. I met and worked with Frank Megna. He says, I was a smart ass, not focused. My head was always some where else. He was right. All I did was drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and talk about how I wanted to be an actress. I had talent, I just didn't know how to focus in on it and make it work for me. So I got to work with Frank and he asked me to be in a Working Stage Production called Licking Light Bulbs. I played a drugged up girl Friday. Good times. Near the end of the production I was struggling with family drama and relationship drama and struggled with the "show must go on". It was really hard and as soon as the production was over, I disappeared. I was not getting the parts I wanted, I was not even getting called in and I thought to put up my coat and as I was preparing to squash my own dream my Mom passed away.

The Process of Creating a Solo Show # 2

Last I left off my experience at the Public Papp Theater. So I knew that is what I wanted to do. I didn't know how I was going to do that, I'm just saying that is what I wanted to do. I could say it was also around 10 years old when I use to perform old Rosana Dana skits for my parents and then recreate the commercials from 1978, 1979. Spic and Span, Tide, but it was really after watching Anna Deavere Smith. I also got to see John Leguizamo in Mambo mouth. I know to wait outside of the theater a little bit to the right or left of the entrance where the performers will eventually come out to go back to their normal lives. John jumped out the door with rollarblades and speed off into the city streets. I got no time to get my playbill signed, but I still thought it so cool that he was wearing his jeans and a tshirt like everybody else and he really seemed to be like everybody else, he was just telling his story 20 minutes before to a live audience of about 500 people. He also happen to sit next to me at the Manderian Chinese restaurant on Beverly Blvd. in Los Angeles 5 years late, but I just kept eating my food and never said a word. I so wanted to say, Hi John, I saw you in New York, but I didn't and I didn't regret it, I just might get to see him again and tell him how I am a great fan of his. I just might get to say what a great inspiration he has been for me.

2 week count down to the opening of RSO

What's going on? Well, I am working off of Sarah's laptop at the moment which survived 4 to 7 year olds throwing a ball around that hit coffee and spilled all over the laptop! Nightmare waiting for the thing to come back to life. Adam took it apart cleaned it and it finally magically came back to life, yet the keys on the right side don't necessarily work, so I am doing the best I can with what I have. Example, I can't press return so I'm going to have run on sentences in this blog. It is week count down. All the press releases went out and we got our listing on several cool theater sites. www.theatermania.com, www.broadwayworld.com, www.nytheater.com, www.playbill.com, www.broadwayinsider.com, to name a few. Now we just need to get the media to come and review the show. I was talking to a very professional PR person at a high profile film studio and she said it is still done the old fashion way, you fax or email your press release and then you call to follow up. There is no way of getting around making that phone call. She said don't leave messages on the machine. A newspaper writer will not even listen, it is most likely they will delete. Keep calling until you get someone and then pitch your story. Let them know why their readers would like to know about what you are doing. She told me to not be ashamed of promoting the show. Get the word out there. So that is what I am doing.

The Process of Creating a Solo Show # 1

Originally I've been inspired by John Leguizamo, Anna Deavere Smith and Jennifer Lewis, all of whom I've seen live. When I saw each one of them I knew that is what I wanted to do. They are true storytellers and they bring life to all the characters in their stories, they become those people.

I remember I had to see Anna Deavere Smith. Smith is perhaps best known as the author and performer of two one-woman plays about racial tensions in American cities — Fires in the Mirror (Obie Award-winner and runner-up for the Pulitzer Prize) and Twilight: Los Angeles 1992 (Obie Award-winner and Tony Award nominee).

I had to see Fires in the Mirror and it was the last night at the Public Papp Theater and I didn't have a ticket nor money to see it. I don't know what I was thinking but I went to the theater and stood in front of the box office and stood in the corner. My plan was to wait and maybe an extra ticket would pop up. A miracle ticket. Which I use to get at Grateful Dead shows. In the past I have given away free tickets so I knew I was due return karma. One guy did have an extra ticket because his date didn't show up, but he wanted to sell and decided to wait till someone brought the ticket from him, which they did.

I started to panic because the doors had closed and the show was about to start. I asked the box office, if they would be so kind as to gift me one because it was the last show and no one else was going to buy the ticket. They said no.

A little over 10 minutes went by and I wasn't going to budge. There was a sadness inside myself because I thought to give up, but there was some spark to hold on because anything could happen. I waited and tried to fight off the fear of nothing happening. I stared at those closed doors and then one door swung open. I don't know who the woman was, she may have been an usher or someone from the box office, or maybe even another theater goer who saw my plight outside, but she motioned for me to come over, she pointed to the only seat in the room and said go. I walked down the aisle to the second row, CENTER.

I sat there in awe of Anna and then later smiled to myself of the whole experience.

Saturday, January 26, 2008 I can’t do any of this alone. Below my angels Current mood: breezy Category: Blogging Janurary is almost over and I am so excited for February to come along, yet one day at a time, right. I don't want to get ahead of myself. Folks, don't think I do everything by myself. I have the most amazing producers Adam Cruz and Sarah Cruz who have been an extreme source of light. They have other projects going on. Check out www.mixtapesessions.com for the musical artists Adam produces, like the sensational Flora Cruz. They've got vision over there. Benno Nelson hooked up the editing for the promo trailer of Random Sharp Objects. Check out www.bennonelson.com ---Baby. Much Love Esther 5:17 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 There is always something to do Category: Blogging There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect. ~ Nikki Giovanni 4:13 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

8 week count down till opening of RSO Category: Blogging So, its late and I am up and running with all things RSO. Producers Adam and Sarah Cruz have been rockin and rollin and everything is coming together. Yesterday I hung out with the girls and we affirmed our goals and aspirations for 2008. We started off writing lists of gratitude. I'm grateful for my toes and fingers,my health, family and friends called angels, for having a break up with my love and then making nice, for not being afraid to write, getting a webseries off the ground, getting the solo show off the ground, going to New York to do the show, growing into my own skin, having deep healing conversations with my Dad. Loving you all. So for 2008, I'd like to affirm the possibility of a successful and profitable run of my solo show "Random Sharp Objects": How I Got The Past Out of My Ass. Today Adam www.myspace.com/cruzadam created the logo and links for RSO and got everything ready for pre-sales tickets which is huge!!! Doing all that while launching an up and coming artist Flora Cruz www.myspace.com/floracruz CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE TICKETS IN ADVANCE FOR RSO AT WWW.SMARTTIX.COM! Type in search bar: Friedman or CLICK HERE FOR THE OFFICIAL STAGE LEFT STUDIO WEB-SITE! (navigate to PERFORMANCES | FRIEDMAN SHOW for more details) www.stageleftstudio.com I still have to find work to play it safe. I might even work as an assistant. I'm not afraid to work to make sure I have extra money on hand. I'm not trying to act like I'm some woman that wants to be some huge hollywood star. I want my art to get out into the world and I have to keep myself afloat while I do that. Some days I think about meeting a sugar daddy. Today my higher power is my sugar daddy and I am reminded that I am a child of God and all my needs are provided for. Love you all We're all one Esther